Thursday, June 21, 2012
My older daughter, Paige, decided that it is time for me to venture into the realm of Smash books. She has done several and had such a good time with them that she wanted me to try, so she bought me my first book and a few odds and ends to go into it. Paige told me the key to Smash books is not to over-think it. It is supposed to be free-form and not even necessarily theme oriented. HA! I thought she knew her Mom better than that. Was surprised that she actually thinks I can just free-form, go with the flow, let it all hang out and have a good time with it! It is an adorable idea, but I am finding the idea very intimidating! I looked through her books, and they are fantastic and adorable. I open my (blank) book and immediately go into panic mode. For someone who loves notebooks as much as I do, I don’t know why the idea of a Smash book sends me into such fear! Whatever was she thinking?
So, I bit the bullet and took the plunge. I have started my smashing and am embracing the idea that the book does not need to be theme oriented. It is not a scrapbook; it doesn't have to tell the stories; it doesn't even have to make sense. I decided my book would simply be random thoughts, feelings and ideas. It would, in the true philosophy of smash books, hop around to whatever is on my mind or whatever I'm feeling at the time. Afterall, I do have my scrapbooks for the structured stories in my life. I am also trying to embrace letting go of my need for perfection, linear lines, percision writing -- the whole OCD perfectionism that I deal with on a regular basis.
The page I am going to share is about a feeling. The Hubs and I are animal people. We love the little fur babies and have had both dogs and cats (also hamsters, guinia pigs, bunnies) throughout our married life. I tend to be more of the cat person where the Hubs tends to be more canine oriented; however, the cross-over for both of us is very apparent. The loss of each of our beloved fur babies has hurt and broken our hearts; however, the loss of one particular little feline this past November still has us reeling and both of us get tears in our eyes when we think of her. She was only 2 years old (and we'd had her for those two years -- far less time than most of our previous babies), but in that short time, she really got into both our hearts. She was killed, and we were totally not expecting nor prepared for it.
My smash page shows two pictures of her as a baby (for some reason baby pictures were less painful for me than her adult pictures). The heading/saying reads: "We never know where the heart will take us NOR how painful the journey may be."
Here is my Bella smash pages. This is not her story. This is mine. Her story is in her scrapbook. My story is in my heart.
And this was Bella, all grown up.